Gangsters come with all guns blazing, and sometimes their humor is on fire, too. We’re talking about Selene (Dimples Romana) and Orcus (Christian Vasquez) and their ‘asaran’ moments in The Iron Heart.

Dimples is known for her savage dialogues on screen, while Christian is so good at playing the macho GGSS (read: gwapong-gwapo sa sarili) guy. Combine these thespic qualities and the results are fiery ‘bardagulan’ scenes that are guaranteed to crack us up. Check them out in this edition of Kapamilya Toplist.

Orcus belongs in the species of guys who think they are God’s gift to women. Thus, he believes every girl, especially Selene, would naturally want to be with him. In a pool scene, he stood in front of her and asked who between them is insecure. Unbothered, Selene called it hallucination, “Alam mo, Orcus, nagha-hallucinate ka na. Ang kailangan mo ay maraming maraming maraming kape para kabahan ka naman.”

He retorted that they could work as a tandem, “You never know, baka may mangyaring maganda sa ating dalawa.” The statement alone was enough to make Selene feel nauseous, more so when he took off his polo top and shorts. To us, viewers, the exchange was rib-tickling.

Let’s take a look at the scene where he admired the efficient Eros (Jake Cuenca), who was then assigned as Selene’s right-hand man, while his own assistant Apollo/Tisoy (Richard Gutierrez) watched in silence. Well, it wouldn’t be an Orcus moment without the self-glorifying statements. Since Selene was there, he didn’t let pass the chance to tell her, “I miss you.” How did Selene react? *Bombastic side eye*

Even without dialogue, they manage to let each other know how they feel. In Selene’s case, it’s nothing but ‘yuck’ factor, rolling her eyes as Orcus played with his drink. In the next scene, she stormed to his car shop thinking he’s the person behind a recent attack in her place. While he maintained his innocence and that he’ll never harm her, the pick-up lines and calling her “babe” provoked Selene, she threw a bullet at Orcus’ favorite car, his original “babe.”

Of course, we can’t leave out the scene where he brought up their alleged romantic past, boasting about himself as her “pinakamagandang pagkakamali.” Selene’s only response was, “Disgusting! Kilabutan ka nga!”

Remember when invited her to his place to discuss an important matter? He asked her to sit on his chair, then, leaned closer as he typed in his laptop password, which reads, “SELENEBABE.” Selene’s reaction was a mix of fierce and funny: “Lumayo ka, Orcus, babarilin kita!”

He called her “baby love” in another, implying that Selene chose to break his heart and left him “basang-basa sa ulan,” uttered in his overly dramatic voice while trying to look cute. And as the GGSS guy that he is, he thought Selene was simply in denial.

During Priam (Albert Martinez)’s charity ball, she poked fun at his slight fashion blunder. He wore shades inside the hall at night, but was able to clapback, “Nasisilaw ako sa kagandahan mo.” He tried to woo Selene, who dismissed his pick-up lines and daringly declared that she instead would like to talk with the fresher-looking Tisoy.

Orcus was left wondering, “Hindi ba ako fresh?”

The two grew close when Orcus insisted to be by Selene’s side when she contracted the Hyperion virus. He was ready to get the virus from her and die if that means they’d die together. For the first time, Selene responded with warmth and didn’t let go when Orcus pulled her close. In isolation, they only had each other. She would let him hold her hand and smile at his jokes.

Surviving the virus, Orcus decided that he wants to marry Selene. He jokingly proposed in front of Priam’s portrait, as if he is their God. He said that they were both granted a second shot at life, which is a miracle sparked by their love. However, with Priam’s passing, Selene wanted nothing but to protect Tatsulok and make sure it lives on. And since when did Orcus start believing that they’re a couple? Selene couldn’t remember. Annoyed, she replied, “Orcus, ah! Pinagloloko mo ‘ko! Malapit ka na sa’kin!”

In the final scene, the remaining Tatsulok members weigh their options as a new crime group attempts to control them. Orcus suggested they split up for the time being and asked Selene to come with him. Of course, she rejected him, and the way she shut him up almost looked like a comedy scene.

Don’t miss an episode of The Iron Heart, weeknights, on Kapamilya Channel, Kapamilya Online Live, TV5, and A2Z.