Alexa Ilacad is her own hero. The triple threat star is committed to loving herself more, though she admits it isn’t a flawless relationship at all times. Her confidence still crumbles on some days. After all, progress is never linear. What truly matters is she’s eager to conquer the next chapters with more passion and strength, thanks in part to her solid support system, her family and Star Magic.

It’s time to hear Alexa’s story in this Tatak Star Magic: Celebrity Conversations episode hosted by Sky Quizon.

Alexa has been hard at work since she was 2 years old, having started as a commercial model. Her first gig was for a telecommunications company. One might think she’d feel tired and leave showbiz eventually. But, Alexa will never turn her back on the industry she dearly loves.

“I just want to keep going. Gusto ko lang ‘to ipagpatuloy hanggang sa pwede, hanggang sa pagbibigyan ako ng universe. I just want to keep doing what I love,” she said, calling it passion. “I don’t see myself doing anything else.” The fire inside her shows no sign of fading.

Besides Goin’ Bulilit, a big part of her showbiz identity is Pinoy Big Brother, where she inspired with her story of rising above insecurities and mental health struggles she previously felt scared to broadcast. For the first time, thanks to Kuya, she embraced vulnerability and turned it into strength.

Looking back, Alexa knew she was judged as bossy. People didn’t realize that her intense attitude during tasks came from a formed habit of striving for excellence, having grown up in an industry where everything has to be perfect. “It’s just because when I’m given something to do, I’m really serious about it.” She gives her hundred percent in whatever she does, though she never really noticed this trait before.

Inside Big Brother’s house, she confessed about her depressive state anchored on body dysmorphia, which is defined as a feeling of dislike for one’s physical appearance, “I don’t really see myself in a good light. Kumbaga, iba ‘yung nakikita ko sa salamin. It’s not an image that I really like.” This could have spawned from the pressure thrown by people and herself while she was growing up in the limelight.

Though seeking professional help, Alexa admits she has to heal in her own phase. She still has her bad days, “Sometimes it’s a good day na parang, ‘Uy, I look good today, ah!,” parang gano’n, I have that confidence. But sometimes just flat out no, or the mood just changes throughout the day. Like, no’ng umaga okay naman ako and then something just triggered.” On some days, she can’t even feel attuned to her emotions, thus she has a therapist to help untangle her thoughts.

“Hindi naman ako palaging malakas. I don’t have it with me all the time. I guess that’s okay. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Sabi ko nga, there’s strength in vulnerability. So, I’m not scared to admit na I’m not okay, not every day.”

Alexa’s family adds depth to her purpose as an actress. She wouldn’t be where she’s at without them. Her mom has been extremely supportive of her dreams, “Walang taping na hindi ko siya kasama. Walang shoot na hindi niya ako hinintay magdamag.” Who needs a personal assistant when you have a mom willing to devote her whole self to you 24/7? “There’s no better care than a mom’s love,” said Alexa. Sometimes her dad drives her to work. Her sister plays a huge part in her journey as well.

They are her safe space. They taught her that one could never go wrong with kindness. “Especially here in the business, sometimes it can be overwhelming. It can really affect your mood sometimes. And sometimes you’re fazed with people na may ibang ugali sa ugali mo, and minsan challenging ‘yun. So, I always try to remember and remind myself na ito ‘yung character ko. I want to be a good person. I want to remain kind no matter kung ano ‘yung ibato sa akin.”

She pressed, “And because at the end of the day, walang mawawala sa’yo if you choose to be kind.”

“Kaya kong pagsabayin,” she answered when asked to choose between singing and acting. Alexa thanks Star Magic for shaping her into the artist she is today, “Iba talaga ‘pag lumaki ka dito, under their wing, under their guidance. I grew up here. This is my home. This is my family.”

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