This episode of Magandang Buhay The Podcast features another edition of “Dear Momshie Serye” where letter senders open up about their relationship situations. With the help of guest counselling expert Tofi De Jesus, hosts Regine Velasquez, Jolina Magdangal, and Melai Cantiveros dive deep into these relatable scenarios.
The first letter sender introduced herself as Gelai, a partner who is starting to feel the weight of stressful repeat arguments. In such cases, Sir Tofi’s best piece of advice is to seek professional help, someone objective or with background in counselling. Avoid opening up to your parents, family members, or close friends, as they tend to take sides.
He also explained that recurring fights might reflect issues that run deeper than the surface. Most likely, it’s the same issues rehashed. Therefore, it is important to communicate openly. Jolina shared one trick she learned from husband Mark Escueta, which is to take a pause first and keep in mind that what’s done is done.
Popshies, of course, were given space in the forum as well. Letter-sender Gio talked about his wife’s request for a ‘cool off’ to rethink. He mentioned that his wife feels lost, making him feel inadequate. From the perspective of an expert, Sir Tofi considers this a possible case of mid-life crisis, and Gio must understand that it’s his wife who requires healing, therefore, none of this is his fault.
He added that Gio may talk to his partner first and lay some ground rules. Both parties must understand that there are kids involved in their actions. And while relationships aren’t supposed to be disposable, some needs to end for the better. “Harapin ninyo ang masakit na pakiramdam ng paghihiwalay kasi mas dumodoble po ang sakit ‘pag may kasinungalingan na nasasama.”
Those stuck in a toxic relationship can sure relate to Rose, the letter-sender who’s been cheated on repeatedly and forgives repeatedly as well. Here, Sir Tofi tackled the possibility of Rose’s husband suffering from a psychological problem, thus the need to seek professional help. And to those who feels there’s no way out, here’s a question to ponder: “’Pag ikaw ang nasaktan, hanggang kailan mo kayang magpatawad?” Sir Tofi pressed that forgiveness is a lifelong process. As the scripture says, love must not keep a record of wrongs, meaning do not bring up the past once you decide to forgive.
To wrap it up, Sir Tofi imparted this message: “Marriage is a choice. Piili mong magpakasal sa taong ‘yan. Pinili mong magkaroon ng pamilya. Pinili mo ang buhay na iyan. Therefore, dahil pinili o ‘yan, you also have to work for it.”
Check out the full episode of Magandang Buhay The Podcast!