The public know Isabelle Daza and Liz Uy as members of the A-list squad “It Girls.” But behind the glitz and glam, they’re like any other moms confronted by challenges and mom-shaming.
The partying might be over due to hectic schedule, changes in priorities, and distance (they’re in different parts of the world) but Isabelle and Liz along with their fellow It Girls sustain their bond. They keep in touch virtually through a chat group where they talk about all things “momshie.”
Isabelle said they’re all passionate about motherhood. She makes sure that her parenting style involves respect not only towards her but to her son as well. Having a background in education, Isabelle learned that little kids are their own person. She gives her child, Balthazar the freedom to express himself while setting clear boundaries to avoid spoiling him.
She would like to make sure two-year-old Balthazar or Baltie grow up confident, in this age of social media when people easily point out your flaws. “Children are being bombarded with what they don’t have, so I’m really trying to equip Baltie to know that everything he has is enough and I want him to be grateful always. Kasi ang hirap now, ang daming mga external factors that make us question ourselves,” shared Isabelle. Her biggest dream for Baltie is for him to grow up happy and content with who he is.
Isabelle turns the stay-at-home phase into a learning season for Baltie. She teaches him life skills and spends quality time with the family. She wants him to see her as forgiving. She wants him to trust her enough that he won’t be scared to own up to his mistakes.
Liz is currently dealing with online schooling dilemmas with her son, Xavi. But she also isn’t the strict type, giving Xavi the right balance of learning and play. She also knows gadget time is an inevitable attribute of her son’s generation.
Her biggest parenting goal is to make Xavi feel loved at home, so when in times of trouble, he knows where to run to. “As a parent, itatama natin ‘yung mali but we’ll be here to guide him. So, enough na ‘yung love na nafe-feel niya at home, hindi na siya mai-insecure outside,” she said. Liz would like Xavi to grow up unbothered by other people’s opinion.
She wants Xavi to see her as ‘extra’ – a mom who gives her hundred percent in everything she does. She wants him to know that mom knows best.
The besties have their fair share of mom-shaming experiences as well. There was a time when Liz was flooded with comments upon posting a photo of Xavi munching down unsliced grapes. But instead of taking it negatively, Liz owned up to her mistake. She would admit that she still has a lot to learn and perhaps comments like those help her earn more wisdom as a new mom.
For Isabelle’s part, she doesn’t dwell on too much social media buzz. Instead, family opinion matters more to her. She mentioned that her mom, as a grandma, would have opinions about the way she raises her child. She didn’t make a big deal out of it until it started to feel heavy.
“I think I didn’t realize it was mom-shaming until I went home and felt bad about these choices. Their intention naman is not to shame you but sometimes it can be very vicious and as a new mom, siyempre, you’re vulnerable to these things and you’re learning, so you can take it in a very painful way,” she said. There was an instance when netizens questioned why her son likes feminine colors more. Most of the time, she’d keep quiet but there are moments when she is pushed to her limits and would reply back.
Asked for a message to mom-shamers, Liz pointed out the value of respect while Isabelle underscored that they are just doing their best as mothers.