Maris Racal and Carlo Aquino share post-breakup coping mechanisms | ABS-CBN

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Maris Racal and Carlo Aquino share post-breakup coping mechanisms

Maris Racal and Carlo Aquino share post-breakup coping mechanisms

Liezel dela Cruz

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Everyone copes with breakups in different ways – some go on solo trips to find themselves, others hang out with a group and drink. Whatever it may be, “How to Move On in 30 Days” stars Maris Racal and Carlo Aquino believe the process should end with a renewed sense of self-worth.

Sharing their post-breakup rituals in an episode of Kapamilya Chat, the tandem said moving on normally starts with a grieving process where “medyo ligaw pa.” Maris used to struggle a lot with forgetting an ex to the point of enlisting the help of a psychic “kasi hindi ko na kaya ‘yung pain.” We have different beliefs about this but based on experience, she realized, “Hindi rin naman nag-work kasi hindi rin naman pala ‘yun totoo.”

Similar to her character in the series, Jen, a broken girl trying to bury the past within 30 days through the help of a fictitious app, friends, and more, Maris will also do everything to move on.

Talking from past experience, she said her healing process usually begins with a beach trip for “a change of scenery” or whatever activity that pops up in mind.

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For Carlo, it’s pretty normal to drown the sadness with alcohol, “’Yung alcohol once in a while kasama ang friends, okay lang naman’ yun as long as hindi ka nagwawalwal at kaya mong umuwi nang maayos mag-isa. Kasi feeling ko napagdadaanan naman ng kahit sino ‘yan, eh.” Among his recommended coping strategies are going to the gym, focusing on studies or learning a new thing, and hanging out with other people. He also advised to replenish the thirst for life by going on nature trips, “’Yung simpleng sunset, makakuha ka dun ng simpleng tibok ng puso.”

Meanwhile, Maris explained that similar to her character, she moves on with a timeline; otherwise, she’d feel stuck in a rut. “Siguro ‘pag may importanteng work ako, like, in two months may gagawin ako, dapat okay ako mentally. Dapat balanced ako sa lahat para magawa ko ‘yung trabaho ko. Kasi ‘pag hindi ako okay, hindi ako makakapagtrabaho talaga.”

While some actors use heartbreaks to fuel their ‘hugots,’ Maris works better when she’s feeling light and happy, “’Pag hindi ako masaya sa buhay, parang ang gulo ng utak ko na hindi ako nakakapagtrabaho nang maayos.”

Carlo, on the other hand, doesn’t believe in a calendar-based healing, saying we can’t force the heart to just stop grieving, “Gradual talaga mangyayari ‘yung pag-okay ng dibdib mo. So, parang mahirap lagyan ng oras, ng time frame ‘yung ganung aspeto.”

They went on to discuss self-love or self-worth, which Carlo believes can be found by surrounding oneself with the right people, “Para malaman mo na hindi lang doon sa isang tao nanggagaling ang pagmamahal. Kasi kahit na stranger mag-hello sa’yo o ma-acknowledge ka, isang malaking boost na ‘yun para sa pagkatao mo.”

Another step to recovery, according to him, is muting outside noises, “Kasi ‘pag pumasok nang pumasok ‘yun, unti-unti nabubulok ka na kasi pumapasok na ‘yung self-doubt, dun nawawala ‘yung pagmamahal mo sa sarili mo.”

Maris believes embracing self-love is actually easier said than done, especially when we are in a relationship. Sometimes love blurs our judgment that we tend to sacrifice self-worth for love, until we’re too broken. And the brokenness serves as a wake-up call, “Mare-realize mo lang ‘pag sagad na sagad ka na, ayaw mo na kasi hindi na ‘to makatao. Diyan ka na magigising, magsa-start to question ng mga things, maybe end the relationship and start to let go.”

Maris admits that there are times when she feels as though it’s difficult to love herself. But here’s the trick: fake it ‘til you make it. “Kailangan mo lang talaga bumilib sa sarili mo kahit ang hirap mahalin ng sarili mo. ‘Pag nasa pinaka-low ka na, na parang hindi mo kayang mahalin ang sarili mo, just pretend everyday hanggang sa magiging totoo na siya. Magiging totoo na may naa-appreciate ka tungkol sa sarili mo.”

Maris and Carlo navigate the tricky process of letting go in “How to Move On in 30 Days,” ABS-CBN’s first YouTube Exclusive Daily Series, now streaming on ABS-CBN Entertainment YouTube Channel.

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