Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, they say. This means each gender expresses love differently. And because of the differences, misunderstandings grow. In this episode of “Ask Angelica,” the King of Hearts Daniel Padilla represents the “red planet” and gives a glimpse of how men resolve love troubles.
Together with host Angelica Panganiban, and her “True-pang Totoo” Kean Cipriano and Via Antonio, the heartthrob shared bits and pieces of his love wisdom based on experience.
Daniel owned up to slacking off during a ‘comfortable’ stage in his relationship with Kathryn Bernardo. So, when a girl thinks her guy is starting to act cold and busy with other things, it’s not right to jump to conclusions. “Siguro noong mga 4 years kami ni Kathryn, nagkaroon ng time na masyado akong naging komportable. So, naging away din namin before na, ‘Bakit puro kaibigan?’ Ganoon,” he shared.
The best option, according to Daniel, is to talk about the issue and be ready for possible answers. “Ang hassle kapag naaaning ka parati. Diretsuhin mo na, tingnan mo diretso sa mata. The eyes don’t lie,” he said.
Angelica backed this up with her view about female instinct. “Madalas lalaki ang nagkakaroon ng iba, though ang mga babae nagkakamali din ‘yan. Kaya din siguro may tinatawag na women’s instinct. Totoo ‘yun, eh. Naniniwala ako na hindi lang siya women’s instinct. Instinct siya ng isang nagmamahal na tao. Mararamdaman mo ‘yun,” she expressed.
On a video caller’s dilemma about the risks of online relationships, Angelica stressed that life would only become more enjoyable when lived without fears.
“Kailangan natin laging mag-take ng risk. Hindi rin tayo matututo kung hindi tayo nag-oopen up sa mga bagay na may possibility tayong maging masaya. Baka ‘pag paulit-ulit tayong natatakot, nami-miss natin ‘yung chances natin sa life to be happy and to learn. Lahat naman ng dumarating sa buhay natin, laging may lesson,” she explained.
At the same time, don’t turn a blind eye to red flags. Daniel added, “’Pag sa online mo lang nakilala, medyo malabo ‘yun. Kasi sa online, kahit ano naman pwede mong sabihin. Pwede kang magpanggap.”
A female netizen wondered how she could ask “lambing” without getting too straight to the point. Daniel advised to just let the guy initiate because men are naturally affectionate.
“Hindi mo kailangang gawin, wala kang kailangang sabihin. Nasa lalaki ‘yan, nasa pagkatao ‘yun ng lalaki kung mahilig siya manuyo o hindi. Minsan gano’n tayo, tamang pa-cute lang para mapangiti tayo, pero hindi mo dapat ‘yun tinuturo. Trabaho namin ‘yun bilang partners n’yo. Alam na namin ‘pag oras na naming suyuin mga nobya namin,” he said. But, then again, guys need and want some “lambing,” too.
On no-label relationships, Angelica had this to say: “Hindi pwedeng ganun!” She thinks a no-label relationship is a difficult situation to be in as one could end up getting hurt without the rights to act so.
On giving a cheating ex-lover a second chance, Angelica had no calm sorting out the issue. “Hindi binibigyan ng chance ang mga hinayupak na ‘yan! Tapos na! Ex is wrong! Nagkamali na, eh. Kung magbibigay ka ng chance, sa iba mo na ibigay,” she argued.
Angelica believes that trust, once broken, is impossible to repair. “Mahihirapan lang kayo. Habang magksama kayo, paulit-ulit lang ‘yung pagdududa mo sa kanya. At saka ‘wag kayong mag-isip na kayo ang makakaayos sa isang tao dahil ang makakaayos lang sa isang tao ay ang sarili niya.”
On being a protective partner, Daniel would admit that he is the conservative type but he doesn’t get to the point of taking Kathryn’s freedom. “Compromise lang sa isa’t isa. Alamin ninyo ang boundaries ng isa’t isa. Isipin mo rin ‘yung partner mo dahil pinasok n’yo ‘yang relasyon na ‘yan. Hindi lang ikaw ‘yan, may kasama ka… boundaries and compromise.”
With this, Angelica ended the episode by sharing her takeaways about maximizing freedom within a relationship. You can’t lose yourself nor steal the other person’s sense of identity and call it love. Also, needs are never just gender-based.
“Ang relationship, it takes two mature people para mag-work siya. Ang relationship, hindi siya basta-basta. Kailangan tine-take natin to seriously dahil ‘yung partner natin, tine-take din to seriously. Hindi tama na makasakit tayo ng ibang tao dahil naglalaro lang tayo o dahil gusto lang natin i-own ang isang tao,” she said, adding that both men and women have unique needs when it comes to love.