We all know I Feel U host Toni Gonzaga as among the most talented and most in-demand television and movie personalities in the country. But in real life, she’s a doting and generous ate to her younger sister and fellow Kapamilya star Alex Gonzaga – as revealed in the latest vlog uploaded in her YouTube channel.
While it was a fun bonding and baking session in Alex’s vlog, little did we know that things actually went serious and emotional at the midpart as Toni asked her questions that she’s been longing to quiz her before but didn’t get the chance, while they were waiting for the banana cake they made to be cooked.
The vlog, which soared on the Top 2 trending videos on the video-sharing platform and has already raked in more than two million views as of this writing, commenced with the Multimedia Superstar congratulating her younger sister for the recent achievements she reaped and asking her if she already feels successful in this point of her life.
“Success for me is when your family is proud of you. Ang definition ko ng success before was kung ano ‘yong naa-achieve mo (referring to Toni). So, ganito ‘yong na-achieve ng ate so dapat ganito rin ang magagawa ko para maging proud din sa’kin ang parents ko [at] para masabi kong successful ako. It took me a while to realize na kung ano man ‘yong meron ka, ‘di ko makukuha ‘yon at di ‘yon para sa akin,” Alex related. Then she went on to recount how she used to consider her ate and their parents as enemies in her teenage years.
Albeit, Alex disclosed never holding grudges against them, but only brooded over the thought that Mommy Pinty and Daddy Bonoy were showering all their attention to Toni. Thus, she did everything to get noticed by being a notorious student at her school, which made their parents be summoned and her to be initially disallowed from attending their graduation.
Alex also dismissed the assumptions that she got mad at Toni (except those times that the latter reports her misdeeds to their mommy and daddy) and that she was envious of her.
“Never akong nainggit sa ate kasi ‘pag meron siyang bagong show, meron siyang bagong [project], alam kong meron akong makukuha kasi nga ate will share her success with the family. Doon ako naiinggit siguro sa attention ng mommy,” Alex explained.
She also went on to share the biggest misconception of people about her, the thing that other people say about her that she likes the most, her most hurtful experience in showbiz, and the reason why she decided to put up a vlog.
Despite being disheartened at first, she disclosed that it was her family and their friend Winnie Wong who encouraged and supported her to hop on this new venture.
“Binigyan niya ko ng venue to show who I really am. Meron akong freedom to be creative, to express what I want. Kung ano palang meron ka, that’s all you need and that’s all you have to have. You learn how to celebrate other people not because naiinggit ka sa kanila, [but] because, genuinely, you’re happy for them [and] because you’re happy with what you have already,” Alex relayed, when asked what the greatest that vlogging has ever done to her.
And if there’s something she would want her eight million subscribers to know, it would be, “You’re an answered prayer kay Lord kasi ‘di n’yo alam kung ano ang pinagdaanan ko before.”
Both of them went on to get emotional as she explained why she said so and as she recounted those moments when used to cry to her fiancé Mikee Morada as she still felt unappreciated by their parents and being not given the freedom to do whatever she wanted.
“You just have to trust the process whatever life throws at you right now. May mga challenges na ibibigay sa atin, ‘yong mga experiences mo – may it be bad or good. Celebrate ‘pag mas maraming bad kasi sa bad doon ka mas matututo, do’n mo mas nakikita na kailangan kang may baguhin,” Alex stated, when asked by Toni regarding the advice she would want to give people who are still struggling to find their real selves.
Then she continued, “Ako, it took me 12 years in the industry to realize who I am, kung ano talaga ang kaya kong ibigay na kailangan kong maging proud at kailangan kong tanggapin. Those 12 years were all a blur and were all a struggle lalong lalo na sa kalooban ko. Mas masaya ako off-cam, actually, no’ng 12 years na ‘yon kaysa sa on-cam. Kasi sa off-cam, mas ako ‘yon. Feeling ko kasi ‘pag on-cam ‘di ako maiintindihan ng tao and ‘di ‘yon ang hinahanap nila.
“Mas masakit ‘yong nae-experience n’yo, mas maging happy kayo kasi ibig sabihin no’n mas maganda ang balik. Mas kabahan kayo kung puro sarap ng buhay ‘yong nararamdaman n’yo kasi ‘di kayo tinuturuan. ‘Pag mas madaming sakit, ibig sabihin no’n mas tinuturan kayo kasi mas malaki ang responsibilidad na ibibigay sa inyo. Now that you are young, collect, collect, collect all the experiences may it be good or bad and learn. Kasi sa adulthood mo, you will be paid na dahil sa experience [mo].”
The conversation ended with Alex asking Toni if she’s proud of her, to which the latter replied, “I’ve always been proud of you. Ikaw lang ‘di proud sa sarili mo.”
Click on this video to watch the heartwarming and insightful conversation of Toni and Alex.